This is an interesting post to
write mostly because I’m at an interesting place in my life. Science careers don’t unfold quite the way
other careers seem to. Or, more likely,
I went into all of this without a well-formed plan. I don’t know – life doesn’t always follow
your plans so am I really at that much of a disadvantage? I tend to believe not. To distract myself from panicking and/or
second guessing my own future, I’m trying to pull pieces of wisdom from each
step in my career thus far that will eventually be stitched together into a
quilt of my own experiences.
My science career began with a desire
to prove myself. I’ve told you before
that I chose chemistry as my major in college because I wanted a
challenge. I wanted to leave school with
a degree that made me immensely proud. I
succeeded whole-heartedly and learned the joy that comes with pushing yourself
to the limits of your own brain.
Unfortunately for me, I never chose
chemistry because I had a long term career vision. I didn’t have a ladder scribbled away in some
diary where graduating from college with a bachelor’s in chemistry was the
first rung on an extended trip to glory.
It was just a personal choice at a time when I was learning who I
was.
As a technician, I was thrown full
force into the life of a scientist.
College hadn’t prepared me for that (sorry, but it didn’t and, unless you
work day in and day out in a lab, then nothing will). I was a very passive participant in the whole
ordeal. Since I wasn’t in college anymore,
life dictated that I needed a job and a source of income. I applied for employment that matched my
experiences, which included entry-level positions working in academic research. I received an offer and I took it; bam. The only part of this that was an active
decision was my choice to live in Boston, but that wasn’t even science related –
I wanted to be close to my high school friends.
After two years, I was
intrigued. I thought Ph.D. scientists
were brilliant and I wanted to be like them.
Somewhere during those two technician years, I finally decided that I
wanted to go to graduate school. I
learned from college that pushing my limits gave me great satisfaction while passively
thumping along brought me little, so I decided to challenge myself again.
Graduate school was amazing. I’m the only one who loved it (I swear),
but it gave me an amazing sense of accomplishment. I can easily say that those six years were
some of the happiest of my life. I learned
to think, I learned to reason, I learned to ask questions and find answers, I
learned to trust my instincts and myself, and, more than anything, I learned
that if I put my mind to something, I really can do it. However, I missed one important lesson that
wouldn’t become clear to me until recently.
I chose a research project in graduate school about which I was deeply
passionate. I underappreciated how
crucial this was to my success.
Following graduate school, I found
myself in familiar territory: I needed employment. I chose the path of least resistance: staying
in the comforts of my favorite city (Philadelphia, PA) and becoming a post doctoral
associate. I did branch out beyond my
graduate school research interests, but otherwise, I passively followed the
path that scientists before me had laid out: college > technician >
graduate school > post doc > academic PI.
If I ever wanted a ladder to lead me to success, this was the one to
follow.
I’ve been unhappy for two years.
Interestingly,
I now know that I’m rebelling against the formula. When I look back on the past thirteen years
since my fateful decision to pick a chemistry major, I need to trust what I’ve
learned. I’m happiest when
challenged. My best decisions come from
stepping outside my comfort zone into a new area of interest, but being unsure
of success there. Trailblazing, making
my own paths, and creating my own sphere of experiences appeal to me more than passively
ticking off the pre-determined boxes that lead directly to a pre-determined
place. I will work tirelessly on a
passionate cause, but only half-heartedly on something I have only minimal
interest. I can ask the right questions (is this the right path for me?) and find the
right answers (I don’t think so at this time).
My graduate advisor often let us wander off course during research in
the hopes of finding our way back, but carrying new experiences and wisdom on
our shoulders.
Finally, after all this time and
with the highlighted points in mind, I’ve written my own career plan, complete
with erasure marks and arrows delineating exit strategies or loops back to places
I might want to revisit. I’m excited,
hopeful, and terrified all at once. The
next rung on my ladder is to take a break from bench science and move over into
scientific publishing. While I started
this blog because I loved the idea, it was also an excuse for me to read
outside my research areas. I have so
many scientific interests and I want more knowledge about all of them. I feel strongly that, in the end, this
breadth of knowledge is best thing that I can do for myself as a scientist. Working the bench does not allow for a lot of
extra reading time, but what you learn by reading outside your own field allows
you to be a more diverse researcher and have greater understanding of science
as a whole. If you’ve read my first post,
then you know it’s equally important to me for others outside science to have a
large scientific knowledge base. I want to
do both: I want to read academic science at its height and I want to pass that knowledge
to those who aren’t in science. I want
to be on the cutting edge, see what is going on in different fields, identify
exciting new areas, and then tell others about it. The passion for me is the writing and all the
things I will learn; the challenge is now understanding a wide array of science
fields and mastering the job of an editor; the trailblazing is that this is a
veer from tradition and my decisions that follow this experience will probably
be less than orthodox.
They say that “knowing is half the
battle,” and they are correct. I know
this is what I want to do, but now I have to find a job. Wish me luck!
REFERENCES
Me, myself, and I
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